Hey Coyle... so hand on heart, and truth be told, I cannot understand your storyboards. I cannot read them and I can't see a huge amount of evidence that you're using the resources available to you - so the cheat sheet, for example. I also note from your script that you're yet to revise it in line with the feedback about orientating the reader in terms of where your 'escape artist' comes from. We might expect, for example, some direction which says - Patient runs down corridor and encounters a mysterious looking individual with a glowing envelope - then, when we have the escape artist talking in the script, we know who he is and where he is in relation to your other characters.
I know that Justin will have worked with you re. the principles of character design, and I am expecting to see these principles at work in your own character designs. Right now, you have three very slender, androgynous figures that look the same in terms of their semantic value - i.e. we cannot read their personalities from their designs; they are just slender people...
I do think I need to state quite clearly that, at this stage, I am looking for students to be pushing the quality of what they produce and investing time and energy in seeking to professionalise their work. I'm not seeing that in evidence here, so I'm going to ask you to revisit your storyboards and move them towards a mode of presentation and precision that reassures me you understand these expectations. You need to fix your script, you need to professionalise your visual storytelling via purposeful storyboard panelling, and you need to think about how the principles of character design can be used to help you produce a more distinctive cast of characters. If you could re-post before Monday and let me know when it's done, I'll circle back around on here and we can talk some more.
OGR 08/02/2019
ReplyDeleteHey Coyle... so hand on heart, and truth be told, I cannot understand your storyboards. I cannot read them and I can't see a huge amount of evidence that you're using the resources available to you - so the cheat sheet, for example. I also note from your script that you're yet to revise it in line with the feedback about orientating the reader in terms of where your 'escape artist' comes from. We might expect, for example, some direction which says - Patient runs down corridor and encounters a mysterious looking individual with a glowing envelope - then, when we have the escape artist talking in the script, we know who he is and where he is in relation to your other characters.
I know that Justin will have worked with you re. the principles of character design, and I am expecting to see these principles at work in your own character designs. Right now, you have three very slender, androgynous figures that look the same in terms of their semantic value - i.e. we cannot read their personalities from their designs; they are just slender people...
I do think I need to state quite clearly that, at this stage, I am looking for students to be pushing the quality of what they produce and investing time and energy in seeking to professionalise their work. I'm not seeing that in evidence here, so I'm going to ask you to revisit your storyboards and move them towards a mode of presentation and precision that reassures me you understand these expectations. You need to fix your script, you need to professionalise your visual storytelling via purposeful storyboard panelling, and you need to think about how the principles of character design can be used to help you produce a more distinctive cast of characters. If you could re-post before Monday and let me know when it's done, I'll circle back around on here and we can talk some more.